Margaret Harvey loves riding her bike through the streets of Toronto.
Back in 2012, she was riding to work and stopped at a busy intersection in the downtown core. A garbage truck turned in-front of her, knocked her to the ground and ran her over with its back wheels. Margaret invited me to her home to learn more about that horrible day. "I was conscious right after the collision," she said from the comfort of her living room sofa in Toronto's leafy Riverdale neighbourhood. "The first thing I did was wiggle my toes to make sure I wasn't paralyzed." She was bleeding to death and rushed to the hospital where she underwent the first of 38 blood transfusions. Margaret was also intubated and suffered a fractured pelvis, lacerations to her groin and severe internal bleeding. After three weeks at St. Michael's Hospital, a trauma centre in downtown Toronto, and four months of rehabilitation therapy, she returned to work. Even without her full mobility, she thought that she was mentally and physically ready. In reality, “I set myself up for failure.” She went on a medical leave and suffered with depression. “I felt very alone and frightened.” She learned about a support group for trauma victims in the United States at The American Trauma Society partnered with Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland. Something like this did not exist in Toronto and she was determined to create it, so she approached St. Michael’s Hospital about starting a trauma support group. One year later, along with the help of the hospital’s team of experts including social workers, psychiatrists and therapists, Margaret was able to launch the first Canadian Trauma Survivors' Network called, My BeST. The acronym stands for Beyond Surviving to Thriving. My BeST provides support to patients, along with their families and caregivers, who have experienced any type of trauma-related injury including: car crash, gun shot wounds, vehicle accidents and work-related injury. The group meets monthly and has open discussions as well as presentations from experts on a variety of topics including: pain and sleep management and advocacy. “It has been so rewarding to make so many friends with the same experience as me,” said Margaret. "It has given me so much confidence." Five years after her accident, Margaret purchased a new pink bike. She rode it home, taking the side streets. And now, at times, she'll even ride it all the way to St. Michael's Hospital. Email My BeST for more information at: [email protected]
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Following a horrible car crash in 2012, Dawne McKay could not find an online support group.
“I was looking for others to connect with, who understood what I was going through,” she says. “I took it upon myself to create a group for people who share the same experience as me.” In April 2016 The Crash Support Network was born and within a few minutes of her first post, Dawne had a follower. “Jimmy was the survivor of a truck crash,” says Dawne. “For the first time, I didn’t feel alone.” The day of Dawne’s crash started out as a normal drive to work. She was taking a left turn at an intersection when the car behind her rear-ended her, pushing her car into the path of a transport truck. “I vaguely remember it,” she says. “I remember parts of the first impact and nothing of the second hit but recall someone holding my hand while we waited for the ambulance to arrive.” She stayed in a downtown Toronto trauma centre for 3 days suffering from multiple injuries. “It was a life changing experience where I felt very vulnerable from the moment the crash happened to the hospital stay and the long road to recovery.” Once time had passed, and the support she received at the hospital was over, the aftermath was overwhelming - dealing with insurance agencies, lawyers, and medical professionals as well as reeling from her experience. The mental, physical and financial aspects of a crash was a lot and something she didn’t want anyone else to experience on their own. From the moment she created a Facebook page for The Crash Support Network, Dawne’s days of feeling alone were over. When Jimmy wrote her, it was to say that he had been in a terrible truck crash and was worried about his wife and children. Completely understanding him, Dawne replied to say, “I went through a horrific car crash too - I’m here for you.” Group members will often say they wished they had known about such a support group sooner. Similar to the online community that Tara McCallan created for parents of children with Down Syndrome, the sentiment was, "I gathered an army to support us. We've been uplifted by people worldwide." The Crash Support Network group is private, one of a kind platform that provides a variety of helpful resources, allowing members to have open conversations with one another, creating a space for empathy, support, appreciation and respect. For Dawne, she gets teary thinking about what the group means to her. “I remember sitting on my couch feeling all alone in the struggles I was facing. When I created the group my goal was to help just one person and now I’m helping hundreds.” It’s a first-stop destination for crash survivors. Her resilience comes from desperately needing to find a sense of purpose, seeing the crash for what it was and wanting to help other survivors. “I have always believed in myself and understood that setbacks are temporary. I decided to focus my energy on creating awareness for survivors of motor vehicle crashes who may be struggling alone, and sharing my personal experience as a crash survivor is rewarding.” Building resilience can be done by helping others. I’ve seen this demonstrated in establishing two fundraising campaigns after the death of loved ones: - the first was for people living with a brain tumour. - the latest is in supporting a program at the High Park Nature Centre (HPNC) in Toronto. The latter was established when my daughter Isobel Fanaki suddenly passed away in November 2024. Although she was living in Japan at the time, her previous employment was at the HPNC as an educator. Her brother and I are not professional fundraisers but leading with our hearts we collected thousands of dollars to sponsor a program which will allow children to experience fantastic programs in High Park without the burden of financial constraints. We know that this would make Isobel very happy. Thank you to our generous donors. ❤️ To learn more about the Nature Centre and our involvement visit www.highparknaturecentre.com To donate to our fundraiser, click here and support the opportunity for all children to enjoy High Park and its wonderful programs. I spent a lovely time over the weekend with a dear friend of my daughter Isobel.
Since losing her in November 2024, it's brought me comfort to sit over coffee, lunches and dinners and even walks with her inner circle, in a way that wouldn't have been possible when she was alive. We're all gatekeepers to our friends. Especially when we're young. But we - or maybe its just me - rarely get to know our children's friends well. Her friends and I share our collective loss through memories and even a few tears from time to time. It's been therapeutic. Going through her personal belongings - another thing that never would have been done before November and has proven to be extremely emotionally difficult - I've given some of her books, sketches, posters and jewellery, just so her friends can have a special piece of her close by. This has all been a part of me moving forward from the tragic loss of my beautiful daughter. It's not healing because I don't believe that I'll ever be healed but having us now more closely connected helps. continued from Welcome page
To keep moving forward, I turned to blogging and eventually podcasting. I wanted to know what makes people resilient in the face of adversity? This became something that helped me build a positive circle around me while also inspiring others because I was interviewing regular everyday folks. My guests are authors, fundraisers, advocates, teachers, coaches, medical professionals and travel enthusiasts to name just a few. They all turned to a passion to help others after facing their own life-changing challenge. Shortly after losing Adam, my father became seriously ill and needed my support til he passed away in 2023. That same year, my mom was diagnosed with aggressive lymphoma and died one year later. And then in November 2024 the unimaginable happened when my daughter Isobel, who at only 25 years old, suddenly passed away from heart failure while working in Japan. Losing Isobel made me question everything and I've been taking the necessary time to process it all. After facing so much loss and heartbreak over the last eight years, I've had to constantly draw on the tools that have helped me. I've learned that life is very unpredictable and sometimes extremely cruel - but it is possible to get through big challenges. Creating RESILIENT PEOPLE has led me to public speaking, advocacy, consulting businesses and researchers as well as peer support. God knows that we all need likeminded people to walk alongside us. My message revolves around the power of finding purpose, tools for developing a strong mindset and the importance of surrounding ourselves with supportive people and developing good daily habits. I hope that you'll give RESILIENT PEOPLE a listen and will feel inspired. To get started, go to my podcast page and please tell your community about it. Following the recent tragic passing of my daughter Isobel, the RESILIENT PEOPLE podcast is on an indefinite pause.
Thank you all for your kind words of condolence, meal drop-offs, flowers, emails, texts, drives and overall support. To learn more about Isobel, please read her obituary here. Her brother Sam and I established The Isobel Fanaki Memorial Fund to help fund the causes that Isobel felt connected to like nature conservancy and education as well as charities managing food insecurities. To date, we have given to the High Park Nature Centre and its Happy Camper Fund as well as to Food Banks Canada. We would like to thank everyone who has generously given to this fundraiser. Your donation means so much. When Isobel and Sam's father had passed away from glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer, we decided that it was important to focus on something positive that could help others - and in turn this became a way to also help ourselves through a painful time in our lives. Now with the passing of Isobel, Sam and I are doing the same in creating this fundraiser to honour her memory. To make a donation to The Isobel Fanaki Memorial Fund please click here. Thank you. It is with heavy hearts that we share the unimaginable passing of our Isobel. Only 25 years old and full of life, love, and endless future possibilities.
Isobel was driven by her passions for family, friends, travel, teaching, music, and nature. In all of these ways she has left her mark on the world. While studying Biology at McMaster University, she became a Teaching Assistant and was honoured with publishing her final year thesis on the 'Nesting of local mason bees in empty exotic snail shells'. In response to her father Adam’s illness, she joined Students Advocating for Brain Cancer Research (SABCR) and helped raise money and awareness while serving on the group’s senior executive team. Her love of nature and sweet caring personality led her to roles in the city as well as cottage country as a Lifeguard, Swim Instructor, Camp Counsellor, Educator at Ripley’s Aquarium, and a Teacher with the High Park Nature Centre. Over the last few years, Isobel really embraced visiting different countries while trying exotic foods and experiencing different cultures. From the UK to Spain, eastern Canada and Asia she was always planning another adventure. In March of 2023, she moved to Hiroshima, Japan to work as an Assistant Language Teacher. Never one to shy away from a challenge, she taught herself Japanese and was very excited to begin this next chapter. She made friends with her fellow teachers and delighted in spending time with her elementary and junior high school students, where they grew to love the English language thanks to her creative lessons. Isobel embraced the country’s rich delicacies and customs while also falling in love. Her final trip was to South Korea to reunite with friends. She came back energised and so happy to share her memories of the sites, incredible food, and moments together while singing karaoke. There was so much more for her to do but her time was tragically cut short due to heart failure. She leaves behind her mother Janet; brother Sam; uncles Bill, Joe, Henry and Derek; Aunts Lesia, Lisa, May, Susan, Andie, and Natalie (of Ohio); cousins Alexandra, Mitchell, Ava, Allie, Nicole, Iain, Jack, Audrey, Ashton, and Jihan; her boyfriend Ryoma; treasured dog Ella and many friends around the world. Funeral services were held in Hiroshima and Toronto. Our family has created a memorial fund, which will be used to support the causes she cared about most. Donations can be made here. Thank you to all who have helped us through this most difficult time and continue to support us. “Think of her as a cherry blossom - delicate, beautiful, but with a sadly short season” |