A friend recently told me about a conversation that she had had with her husband of many years.
"I told him that if he goes before me, that's it for me. I'm not dating ever again."
She means well and has applauded my optimism for being in the dating scene. But it also wasn't the first time that I've heard something like it.
No one who is currently married and in a happy relationship envisions themselves being out there in the single world again.
We all remember what it was like when we were younger. Trust me, it's a lot harder to meet someone now. We know this.
But if you've been lucky enough to be have been in a loving relationship once - and that person is no longer alive - you may find yourself at some point wanting to feel those butterflies again.
It's been four years since my husband died and we were only 51 years old when it happened to us.
Being a young widow and having given myself a few years to process, heal and move forward it was really nerve wracking to build an online dating profile, message back and forth with men who weren't my husband and then take the step to meet in person.
Dating after loss is one of the hardest things that a widow can do. I single out widows because I don't have the experience of being separated or divorced which I know is hard too.
I've been hugged and high-fived for putting myself out there again. That's the right response when a widow tells you that she's dating again.
I'm proud of the strides that I've taken to move forward.
Until it happens to you, you have no idea what you will do.